Friday, December 30, 2005

 

TLP "Listing '05"

Hey, friends.
Here’s the promised collection ‘tops of ’05’ lists. Thanks to all who contributed.

A quick reminder of some of the weekend happenings:

TONIGHT! David Bowie Hootenany @ The Dame – http://www.dameky.com for details
featuring The Elephants, Garland Buckeye, Jeremy Midkiff (of Big Fresh), psychoactive sound, and more

TONIGHT! Bubblegum Shit Face w/Birthday Girl @ Underlying Themes, 110 S. Upper
12 midnight, all ages, donations

Monday, Jan. 2 Harlan w/Warmer Milks, Eyes and Arms, and Shedding @ Underlying Themes, 110 S. Upper
8pm, all ages, $5

Tuesday, Jan. 3 Giants! of Industry @ Buster’s
10pm, ages 21+, FREE

Happy New Year.
Ross

:::::::::::::::::::::::: Listing ‘05 :::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Dickie Haydon
Lex Pro contributor/all ages concert organizer/member of great local pop band Petticoat, Petticoat

Okay. Now it's time for my "Top 5 Albums of 2005." I know not everyone is going to agree with a "top 5" list, but these are the albums that I personally enjoyed the most out of all of the records I purchased this year. If you feel as if I totally missed out on something, please let me know; I always love checking out new music.

In no particular order:

1. Bright Eyes - I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning
2. The Go! Team - Thunder, Lightning, Strike
3. Stars - Set Yourself On Fire
4. Stephen Malkmus - Face The Truth
5. Sufjan Stevens - Illinois

Honorable mentions:

Clap Your Hands Say Yeah! - Clap Your Hands Say Yeah!
Wolf Parade - Apologies To The Queen Mary
Death Cab For Cutie - Plans
My Morning Jacket - Z
The Magic Numbers - The Magic Numbers
Sigur Ros - Takk


Will Burchard
Lex Pro contributor/emergency room nurse/buff geek

TOP 5 STAR WARS ACTION FIGURES FROM 2005

---COMMANDER GREE (#59)---All of the clone troopers were a big hit this year, but Gree's ass-kicking camo armor is the shits. Smoke that cigar, GI Joe fans! Plus Yoda took Gree's bitch ass out when Order 66 was handed down. Don't fuck with Master Yoda.

---UTAPAU SHADOW TROOPER (Target Exclusive)---Aw shit, black and gray armor and red slit eyes? This one wasn't really in the movie, too bad-assed I guess. Or maybe it didn't cross the mind of that dork Lucas. Again, clone troopers scored big in 2005.

---BATTLE DAMAGED ANAKIN SKYWALKER (#50)---Two figures in one pack. The first being the bad Sith Anakin in all black (a theme shared with his son Luke--being a whiny pansy until donning the all black clothes and robes.) The second figure is the crispy burnt Anakin (no way could he have survived, but don't get me started on that) [Ed. note: Burchard is an emergency room nurse.], after Obi-Wan handed him his two man eggs, deep-fried. How do you like that omelette, Denver?

---500th FIGURE SPECIAL EDITION DARTH VADER---This version of Darth Vader was on everyone's overrated list, but I think it's the bee's knees. Vader sits in his meditation chamber contemplating the death of his smokin' hot wife. A lever in the back lifts his helmet on and off. No voice button, but if there was one James Earl Jones would say "don't fuck with me".

---CLONE PILOT (Black variation) (#34)---the regular clone pilot variation is ok in white and gray, but probably the weakest of the clones. The all black variation, however, is fucking badness on a stick. Unfortunately, I have yet to find one on the racks. But don't you think I won't kick some obnoxious fat kid under the display to get one! Cause I will, fat fuckers. What do they think these are, toys?

SUMMARY: Sense a theme? Black is cool this year. What's next for me, a black trenchcoat and black boots? Black ponytail and black goatee (from "Baby's first long hair/facial hair" kit)? NOOOO! Please save me, Master Windu! Shave my head and dress me in a brown Jedi robe like yours! I'll take Obi-Wan's sweet-ass beard, though. Star Wars Rulz! Star Trek Droolz! Sorry ladies, I'm taken.


Bill Widener
Lex Pro contributor/punk rock librarian/artist/one of the few peeps on our beloved RFL that you could honestly refer to as a ‘radio personality’

200Five Things That Rocked/200Five Things That Sucked

This rocks! 5. Samoa Joe. As the WWE slowly, painfully flames out due to the McMahon family’s weird combination of ego and self-loathing, upstart promotion TNA finally secured a regular TV spot on the ex-Fed’s former network, Spike TV. After two hours of Raw, a wrestling show during which you’re lucky to catch ten minutes of actual wrestling, it’s a relief to tune in to the Monday midnight rerun of Total Non-Stop Action. There’s a lot of young, hungry talent in TNA, but one man stands out: "the Samoan Submission Machine", Samoa Joe. Imagine the grace and speed of the Rock combined with the toughness of an old school asskicker like Harley Race, and you’ve got Samoa Joe. All his matches are convincing in their psychology, drama and athleticism. What’s even more impressive is how- even as Joe validates the fans’ chant of “Joe is gonna killlll you!” - he’ll beat his opponent in a way that doesn’t destroy the other guy’s credibility. And the dude’s just frightening to look at: I know it’s all a work, and he still scares me.

This sucks! 5. Double fuckin’ J. Unfortunately, Samoa Joe may never develop to his full potential as a draw because TNA is co-owned by and centered on Jeff Jarrett, a midcard-for-lifer who’s been trying desperately to break into the big time since Reagan was in office, and failing ever upward. Thus, Samoa Joe, AJ Styles and other wrestlers who should be the focus of TNA are shunted off into the exciting but ultimately second tier X Division while the lion’s share of the storylines and camera time are wasted on Jarrett and his supporting cast of WWE/WCW has-coulda-shoulda-beens. That TNA is spending big money to bring in Sting, the dullest Great White Hope in the history of the business, does not bode well for the future.

This rocks! 4. Eggheads…Many noted the number of spooky, paranoid and just damn odd TV shows that made their debut during 2005’s fall season. What most failed to notice is how many of the protagonists of said shows are brainiacs. For the first time in ages, smartypants and poindexters are paladins for truth, justice and the American way. Building on the success of the CSI franchise, with their crews of hair-splitters and blood-tracers, and neurotic predecessors such as Monk, Fox Mulder and Criminal Intent’s Detective Goren, programs like Threshold and Bones all revolve around two-fisted geeks. Even more interesting is that many of these super-smarties are women: the stylish, no-nonsense leader of the Threshold gang; the titular heroine of Bones, who looks and acts like the long-lost sister of our own beloved den mother of the apocalypse, Irene Moon; the stunningly hot oceanographer played by Laura Daugherty on Surface, NBC’s sadly unappreciated sea monster drama; not to mention the gals from NCIS, both the yiddische nerdy girl with the amazing eyebrows and the zany death techie who wouldn’t be out of place on Suicide Girls.com. Not only is smart sexy, it’s gonna put you away with the creeps and the muthafuckas in the place where the creeps and the muthafuckas is!

This sucks! 4. …and Dumbasses. Meanwhile, reality television crawled up its own ass in an ever-tightening spiral of fuckheaded stupidity. And, yes, I’m including the news, especially the local variety, with its lust for blood’n’guts that would make H.G. Lewis proud. Whether it’s the Fox blowholes and their wannabes, the spoiled stupid cunts’n’cocks on, well, any MTV show you care to name, vile no-account celebrity scum like Bobby and Whitney, or exemplars of “the Real America” like that wild-eyed Jesus freak from Wife Swap, these shows reveal many unpleasant truths about our nation, foremost being how we richly deserve the hideous judgment bearing down upon us. Speaking of which…

This rocks! 3. The crap piles too high to ignore. The Bush gang finally fucks up so bad that even the craven quislings of the corporate media get wise. Terry Schiavo showed the God Squad at their worst; the right wing monolith start cracking, if not crumbling, over Iraq, indictments and the dog-fight over Harriet Meiers; and, of course, Katrina revealed just what America gets for its money when the GOP is holding the purse. The Right is stymied, the Left energized, even as polls show the vaunted Center has had about enough of this chump. While visiting my sister’s family at their new digs in North Carolina, the Raleigh paper had a story reporting that Diebold, the company whose voting machines have been implicated in the shenanigans of the 2004 election, had been run out of the state. One small step for democracy, but…

This sucks! 3. We’ve got three more years of this shit. Remember: God told them to skin us alive. So they ain’t gonna go out quietly. Alito’s most likely in, the war’s not going to end any time soon, and even if they get caught red-handed rigging the vote in 2006, that just brings us one step closer to civil war. And if “they” really feel their backs against the wall, expect another American city to go up in smoke. My money’s on LA: blow up the City of Angels and have your Islamist stooges cut a promo about striking at the heart of Western decadence, thus eliminating Hollywood and its threat to family values (and all that money it gives to the Democrats) while forcing liberals in a corner: “How can you not support martial law when these rug-smooching maniacs went out of their way to destroy your own kind?!?” Admittedly paranoid prognostications aside, I think it’s gonna get worse before it gets better.

This rocks! 2. Good rockin’ tonight! So fuggit – let’s dance! Although I’ve not been making the scene as much as in the past, I’ve still seen some fab shows in this here town. The first Rock’n’Bowl extravaganza was a blast, and, heck, even with its flaws, the Halloween show was fun, too. After all the hoopla and boo-hoo was said and done at the Dame, ya had two great shows by Nipponese outfits, the sexy, silly and savage Tsu Shi Ma Mi Re, and cock rockers Electric Eel Shock, who were so loud I lost hearing in my left ear for three days; the Suicide Girls revue, which was hot and funny at the same time; and more plain ol’ punk rock than ever before. All-ages venue Underlying Themes opened, taking up the jazzbo slack from the relocated Mecca while working a niche between the Icehouse’s psych/folk/rock thang and the avant kindergarten of the Charles Mansion. And the latter had one cool gig after another, my fave being the Spiral Joy Band’s latest visit; after the set proper, the boys handed out gongs and whatnot to the remaining fans, and we all cut loose on a forty minute space jam, with your’n truly bustin’ out a Klingon love yodel at one point. Yee-ha!

This sucks! 2. No hang-out for the hung-up. Buster’s has started having freebie gigs, the Dame has relaxed enough to bring in more than the usual tattooed shitkickers, the Short Street Lounge has featured gigs for both geezers and tykes, and a new club, the High Life Lounge, has opened in the space previously held by Lynagh’s Blues Emporium. For the under-aged, there's the Icehouse, Underlying Themes and Charles Mansion. But we still have no replacement for Detour- that is, a homey little hole for dirty little souls, where the black-clad, half-mad losers, boozers and users can mix’n’mingle, fulminate’n’fornicate. The other joints, God bless ‘em every one, just ain’t that kinda place. Which is a damn shame, because…

This rocks! 1. I was promoted to full-time at the Central Library…so I finally have some money in my pockets.

This sucks! 1. But…I haven’t anybody to spend it on.

(sniff!)-unca bill


Lauren Argo
Lex Pro contributor/actress-playwright-performance artist

Lexington's top 5 acting performances of 2005
1. RYAN CASE as vincent in the actor's guild of lexington's VINCENT IN BRIXTON by nicholas wright.
2. JENNY FITZPATRICK as elizabeth key in the university of kentucky's THE NOISE IN THE ROOM by lauren argo.
3. JUANITA JETER as sue bayliss in actor's guild of lexington's ALL MY SONS by arthur miller.
4. JIM LIKENS as peter in studio player's PRELUDE TO A KISS by craig lucas.
5. DARA TILLER as amanda in university of kentucky's THE GLASS MENAGERIE by tennessee williams.


Daryl Cook
Lex Pro contributor/noise composer maniac known as Walter Carson

‘Top 29 of ‘05’
(Ed. note: It’s actually 28 – D’rail accidentally skipped #9)
1 greg kelley - i don't want to live forever - gameboy/little enjoyer
2 ilhan mimaroglu - agitation - locust music
3 jessica rylan - new secret - RRR
4 john fahey - the great santa barbara oil slick - water
5 jack wright/jon mueller/carol genetti - nom tom - springgarden
6 pelt - untitled - VHF
7 new blockaders - first live performance - vinyl on demand
8 warmer milks - tendertoe blues - rampart
10 lau nau - kuutarha - locust music
11 hair police - drawn dead - hanson
12 no neck blues band - qvaris - 5rc
13 silver jews - tanglewood numbers - drag city
14 charlie draheim - breaking luck - chondritic sound
15 sick llama - humane famine - gods of tundra
16 c schulz - 5 flicker tunes - sonig
17 the roots of madness - the girl in the chair- destijl
18 hototogisu - ghosts from the sun - important
19 virgin insanity - illusions of the maintenance man - destijl
20 sonic youth - koncertas stan brakhage prisiminimui - SYR
21 eyes and arms of smoke - moonburn - rampart
22 joe jones - bootleg LP - destijl
23 religous knives - in your head - rampart
24 lied music - s/t - rampart
25 skullflower - orange canyon mind - crucial blast
26 caves - s/t - brc
27 magik markers - feel the crayon - apostasy
28 nicole chambers - NC - no label
29 wooden wand and the vanishing voice - buck dharma - 5rc


Tony Miller
Lex Pro reader/member of two great local pop bands – The Melody Function and Ideal Free Distribution

here are my "top five classic songs most likely to for me to be whistling at any given time during 2005"

1) zombies - this will be our year
2) velvet underground - femme fetale
3) kinks - victoria
4) the yardbirds - still i'm sad
5) the moody blues - go now


Ross Compton
Lex Pro editor n’ other stuff
I should really think ahead. I sat in front of my computer waiting for the lists to roll in and gave very little thought to my own. Here are a few things that I loved/gave me hope this year.

NEW PERFORMANCE SPACES - Underlying Themes, Firebird Studio & Gallery, the new Mecca
I miss the old Mecca terribly. But, the arrivals of the Underlying Themes loft space, Firebird, and (slowly but surely) the new Mecca this year have helped ease that pain.

RECORDS – Was talking about this with my friend Trevor the other day at work - for someone who puts on and goes to predominantly ‘weird’ music shows, much of what I listen to when I come home is pop. These are a few of my favorites records from 2005: BLACK MOUNTAIN & PINK MOUNTAINTOPS (the Canucks that rocked me through some rocky summer months – both bands’ self-titled discs, on Jagjaguwar, are great), TENDER FOREVER’s “The Soft and the Hardcore” (endearingly ragged French semi-electro pop on K records), KONONO No.1’s “Congotronics Vol.1” (a Congolese band whose featured instruments are amplified thumb pianos – amazing), SUPERSYSTEM’s “Always Never Again” (danceable electro rock from the group formerly known as El Guapo), MAHJONGG’s “Raydoncong” (I guess I shoulda split up my brilliant dance punk records … oh well) , THE BRUNETTES’ “When Ice Met Cream” (from New Zealand - the cutest and wittiest pop I heard this year – need a song to dance around the house to while you’re getting ready to go out? do yourself a favor and check out ‘Dancefloor’ at http://www.lilchiefrecords.co.nz/brunettes/listen2_hhfd.html) , THE ELEPHANTS’ Carver/The Rose Attic lp + Music Machine/Jesus 7” (epic and eccentric pop greatness), and THE MAGIC NUMBERS (I’ve only had this one for a couple weeks and for some reason I fight my impulse to love it … but it sticks in my head and, more often than not lately, in my cd player).

LIVE SHOWS – Pauline Oliveros with Woody Sullender and Kevin Davis at Mecca (February), The Elephants record release party at the Ice House (April), Mahjongg at Mecca (April), Dave Rempis/Tim Daisy duo at Riverstone Gallery in Somerset (July), Black Mountain at Uncle Pleasants (September), Tender Forever and Calvin Johnson at Underlying Themes (November), The Thing+Joe McPhee at Underlying Themes (November)

MY FAVORITE MOVIE OF ‘05 - Me and You and Everyone We Know
Performance artist Miranda July’s first feature film. Tender, funny, weird, and ultimately hopeful. Instead of watching ‘Amelie’ again, rent this instead. You won’t regret it. [Note: If you can’t find it at you’re neighborhood video store, I know it’s available at the Central Branch of the Lexington Public Library - in the dollar rental section on the first floor.]

MY FAVORITE BOOK OF ‘05 - Ladies and Gentlemen, The Bronx Is Burning by Jonathan Mahler
The story of New York City 1977. The storylines are numerous – The Son of Sam murders. The city’s intense fiscal crisis. The mayoral election that thrust Mario Cuomo and Ed Koch into the national consciousness. The rise of disco and hip hop. The Yankees acquisition of Reggie Jackson and tumultuous season on and off the field. The historic heatwave. The citywide blackout and subsequent looting. The rash of arson for insurance money in the city’s poorest neighborhoods. Fascinating and entertaining, with the storylines woven together perfectly. [Also available at the Public Library – that is, as soon as I return it, it will be.]

EMUSIC.com – With all the peer-to-peer sharing going on, I’m sure many of you are skeptical about subscription downloading services. (I was too.) It’s true P2P is great when you’re looking for that Kelis jam, but finding peers hosting Fugs, Ayler, and Conlon Nancarrow mp3s is sketchy at best. I discovered Emusic when I was looking for obscure stuff (for starters, they have the entire ESP Disk catalog, as well as the old jazz label Riverside and tons of Smithsonian-Folkways stuff), but they’ve expanded rapidly over the last year and seem to add a new indie label’s roster every day (the current list of labels includes Matador, Touch And Go, Fat Cat, Young God/Revolver, Misra, Kindercore, Orange Twin, Thrill Jockey, K Records, Kill Rock Stars, Polyvinyl, Merge, Teenbeat, Dischord, Jade Tree, SYR, among others ). You start out with free 50 downloads, then it’s 40 a month for $10. No long commitments, just a month-by-month thing. Not trying to type out a commercial, I just REALLY like the site/service. And, it eliminates some of the guilt. It’s a cheaper-than-Itunes option for downloading where you can be confident they’re paying the artists and labels. http://emusic.com.

MY NEW HOT TODDY – hot water with a healthy dose of lemon juice, a couple/three dashes of Tabasco, just a little honey, and whiskey. Believe it or not, I actually drink more of these without the whiskey than with. Yummy either way. Warmth for when you can’t afford the gas bill.


Eli Riveire
Lex Pro contributor/WRFL dj

top 15 records of 2005:
15) sufjan stevens - illinois
14) fruit bats - spelled in bones
13) smog - a river ain't too much to love
12) the brunettes - when ice met cream
11) calvin johnson - before the dream faded...
10) the elephants - carver/rose attic
9) antony and the johnsons - i am a bird now
8) stephen malkmus - face the truth
7) the mountain goats - the sunset tree
6) tender forever - the soft and the hardcore
5) broken social scene - broken social scene
4) jens lekman - oh you're so silent, jens
3) belle & sebastian - push barman to open old wounds
2) ted leo and the pharmacists - shake the sheets
1) okkervil river - black sheep boy

and then this is an idea that i stole from mikey p:

top 10 records that profoundly affected me that were not released this year, but i discovered this year:

10) usher - confessions
9) brian eno - taking tiger mountain (by strategy)
8) la monet - the laser razor flower
7) quasimoto - the unseen
6) the brunettes - mars love venus
5) bedhead - transaction de novo
4) little wings - light green leaves
3) beat happening - beat happening
2) the magnetic fields - 69 love songs
1) belle & sebastian - dog on wheels


Reese Richardson
Lex Pro contributor/local musician – member of The Josh Marcus Quartet
Joseph Reese Richardson's top 10 things of the year of our lord 2005 in no particular order of appreciation but in an ascending manner.

Number One. John Coltrane and Monk: Live at Carnegie Hall
Number Two. The Underlying Themes Loft
Number Three. Fauntleroy's Coffee Shoppe
Number Four. Aqua Teen Hunger Force Volume 3 on DVD
Number Five. My Engagement To The Beautiful Sunny Allen
Number Six. The Josh Marcus Quartet
Number Seven. Sufjan Stevens: Illinoise
Number Eight. Common: Be
Number Nine. The St. Claire Recording Company
Number Ten. My New Guitar

The Concert for Bangladesh DVD and John Coltrane One Up One Down: Live at the Halfnote were both highly considered for this list, so you may want to check those out.

Joseph Reese Richardson's top 10 worst things of the year of our lord 2005 in no particular order of disapproval but in an ascending manner.

Number One. Coldplay: X&Y
Number Two. Lack of Jazz Musicians in the Lexington area
Number Three. Wedding Crashers
Number Four. UK Basketball
Number Five. Santana: All That I Am
Number Six. 3 Doors Down: Seventeen Days
Number Seven. Katrina
Number Eight. The 40 Year Old Virgin
Number Nine. Gas Prices
Number Ten. Derek Bailey 1930-2005


Kate Hensley
Lex-patriate Lex Pro contributor

Hellooooo from the misty mountains of Montana,
Here's how I rated 2005.

1. Oh the glories of it all--I found what adventurists were discovering two centuries ago: the wild west of America. Perhaps my favorite part of all: the Redwoods in Northern California. Yep, a bonafide tree-hugger. Making second place: the Olympic National Park in Washington, my roots to the hobbits grew a little closer. Runner up: southwestern Utah, a blend of mountains and canyoned redrock.

2. Missoula, Montana--My new home, full of brews, bicycles, books, and weirdos. How can someone like me pass that up?

3. Le Tour Des Squares, Lexington's first alleycat-style race. Allbeit, no one in Lexington is a bike messenger, there are plenty of people who wish they could be one. It was a hot day, the turn out wasn't so great, but it was a fun experience.

4. The fine albums of 2005--Six Organs of Admittance (School of the Flower); Mahjongg (Raydoncong); Espers (The Weed Tree); Smog (A River Aint Too Much to Love); Antony and the Johnsons (I am a Bird Now); Dirty Faces (Superamerican); Oneida (The Wedding). There are more, but I can't sit here all day.

5. Toppermost shows of 2005--Low/Warmer Milks @ Singletary Center; Hair Police/WWVV/Dead Machines @ Mecca; Bonnie "Prince" Billy @ the Dame; Poor School/The Book Club @ the Loft above Higgin's Alley; Auk Theatre/Eyes and Arms of Smoke @ the Ice House; Burning Star Core @ the Ice House; USAISAMONSTER/Kites @ Elk's; anything I went to from the Outside the Spotlight series… As always, there are more, and I'm blanking.

6. School--finally graduating from the University of Kentucky. I also studied under some of the best literature teachers that U.K. has to
offer, such as: Dr. Eldred (literally, she taught the elements of Style), O.R. Dathorne (an old worldy man), and Erik Reece (preacher of the Kentucky wilderness). What a year! Thank my heathen gods it's over.

7. Daniel. My favorite part of 2005. [Ed. note: Yup, you guessed it, Daniel is Kate’s pet hamster.]


Travis Robinson
Community Arts Director, Lex Arts

It is really hard to create a list of the top 5 things that were great (or even bad) about 2005. So many things happened and they tend to blur together. Things that happened in January and February (and for that matter even April and August!) of last year seem so far away, so distant and so, well, insignificant now even though they all build on one another and add to what we have and where we are at. I, personally have a hard time dwelling on the past, good or bad, so here is to looking ahead.

Here is my top 5 list of things to look forward to in 2006:

5. I look forward to the continuation of growth, creativity and perhaps even a grocery in downtown Lexington. We tend to take baby steps around here; I look forward to taking giant steps.

4. I look forward to an increase in the communication and action within and between all of us, but especially those of us who make it happen . . . here's to keeping on making it happen as good as and hopefully even better than we did in 2005. I can't wait for the next great Mardi Gras celebration, Bike Fest, Fourth of July and Outside the Spotlight to name a few. Even more, I can't wait for the next big thing to fill in the spaces between the established good-times.

3. I look forward to somebody cool buying up those eight houses for sale on Johnson Avenue. It's a convenient, vibrant, creative community in the making so if you are looking for cheap digs and/or a worthwhile project, join our little street and help us make it the place to be in 2006.

2. I look forward to those damn ugly "Holiday Decorations" being put away. Anyone up for making sure they don't come back next year?

1. I know it's a little cheesy but I really look forward to more peace, harmony and happiness. These times are dire and we are long overdue for a shot in the arm of some serious goodness, graciousness and love. Good deeds and a positive attitude are like the plague, spreading around to all those unsuspecting souls. Do yourself a favor and hug your neighbor.

Peace out.....Travis.


Johnathan Storts
Lex Pro contributor

Sign of the Times 2005 : A Pseudo-Blog Entry
Some tangent-prone thoughts on the end of this year, some media-related lists,
and five wishes for 2006 that employ a tired vehicular metaphor

Thank you for the days,
Those endless days, those sacred days you gave me.
I'm thinking of the days,
I won't forget a single day, believe me.
--"Days" by The Kinks

Dear Lexington Project,

I don't know if it's the head-spin of having just completed major deadlines at my bill-paying occupation, or the quick sip of Johnny Walker Black with water, but I sit here having a hard time concentrating on what kind of list to write, what to focus on, what to rave about, and what to pan mercilessly, me with my head crowned with laurels in oblivion. What am I getting at? What I'm getting at is that I feel happy about a lot of different kinds of things here at the end of 2005--very thankful about some of the objects I've acquired and some of the experiences I've had. The problem just prior was that, there for a while, well, I didn't feel quite so. In fact, I more identified with this line from the Kinks song ref'd above:

I wish today could be tomorrow,
The night is dark,
It just brings sorrow anyway.

Recently, I realized I wasn't very happy with certain ways I often viewed my self, the world around me, and the clumsy waltz that such things do—that I wasn't profiting in any way by towing that unduly heavy and unappreciative line (I got problems, but ladies and gents, I could have it a great deal worse and then some), and desperately wanted to make outroads from it. But I digress…

I'll spare you the gory details, somewhat. Back to my point: It's hard to pin things down so exclusively right now. Lots of neat, enriching things have come my way this year that I'm thankful for, and many, many wonderful examples can be found in the realm of the commercially obtainable. So here's my little paean to worthwhile (IMHO) consumerism. It's not the STUFF itself that's bad. It's the unnecessary accumulation of such at the expense of other more meaningful pursuits that's the danger, right? Can I resolve and absolve myself of such class-based guilt in this unnecessary aside at the end of this explanatory interlude? Whoa there. Welcome to Digressionia: population you and me.

Anyway, what eventually follows is some stuff I really enjoyed this year, with a few links to more information. It may be five things, or multiples of five. It's the best I could do. I'm thankful that there is so much goodness to experience, things that remain unspoiled by war, avarice, team-sports-style politics, or Paris Hilton. And, furthermore, by reading this, we are all still alive and complicit in either making this place better or worse than when we arrived. Know what? That's scary. But, I just realized with heartbreakingly beautiful clarity, it's also damned inspiring. Everyday we draw breath, flaws and all, we have some choice and some chance of doing better than the day before. The weight of memory and mistake is great, but doesn't have to be immobilizing or immutable. Folks, I'm coaching myself here more than you, I can promise you that. I've been very bad about focusing so much on what I haven't done, what is lacking in the world, and what bad things lie ahead for all of us.

Yadda. Yadda. Yadda. (Did I mention the bisque?) Here endeth the gospel according to St. Orts.

...

I hope you enjoy the Top Five lists below, which include my five personal thoughts on what I'd like to happen in '06.***

I hope you are happy and well in this new year of new days. Thanks for indulging me a bit.

Just, thanks.

Johnathan Storts
12.28.05
6.10 PM
johnathan.storts@gmail.com

*** For the Cliffs Notes inclined (or those worn out by the above), my thoughts may be summed up thusly: I want to remember to remember what is good in life (other than to crush your enemies, and see them driven before you, etc. ad nauseam, ad infinitum), cultivate it, and ward off the internal and external forces that threaten it.

***********************************************************

Because it isn't possible for me to make much further ado, I present…

MY TOP FIVES

Top 5 X 5: 5 Star-Rated Songs
I'm no Applevangelist, but thank Jobs, er, god (or some other technologically savvy and unspecific celestial entity) for iTunes. Nothing like built-in organizational features like Smart Albums to make something like compiling this list a lot easier for the non-expert computer user.

Anyway, such as the filter for the album was set up, some of these are from '05, some are track number 5's. All are songs I like a good bit and have given high marks, for whatever that's worth.

the idea of growing old, the features
precious, depeche mode
mind, the talking heads
boys from the county hell, the pogues
box of rain, the grateful dead
illegal bodies, simply saucer
crumbs from your table, U2
synchronicity II, the police
it don't bother me, bert jansch
neighborhood, david byrne
it's alright ma, i'm only bleeding, bob dylan
oh, the guilt, nirvana
god monkey robot, the apparitions
remember the future, nektar
love makes you feel, lou reed
concrete seconds, pinback
a small victory, faith no more
hello, is this thing on?, !!!
when it started, the strokes
to the end, rockfour
voicemail, rusuden
fixin' to die blues, bukka white
matty groves, fairport convention
all i really want is money, alex chilton
tonight, iggy pop


Top 5 X 2: Books/Graphic Novels I Loved This Year
And perhaps not for the first time this year or ever, but that is but a trifle:

Suttree, Cormac McCarthy
Blink, Malcolm Gladwell
Cash: The Autobiography, Johnny Cash
Beg the Question (A Minimum Wage Collection), Bob Fingerman
The Day I Swapped My Dad for 2 Goldfish, Neil Gaiman & Dave McKean
Good as Gold, Joseph Heller
Where I'm Calling From, Raymond Carver
Porno, Irvine Welsh
Electric Ladyland, John Perry (special shout out: 331/3 series, generally)
The James Thurber Carnival, James Thurber

Top 5 X 4: Web Sites I Fritter Away My Life On
This is not an all inclusive list, by any stretch of the imagination. But, I like these sites for whatever reason. Surf at your own discretion (oh, you'll also notice I was too lazy to put down twenty):

dark park: now with 35% more funk http://darkpark.com/
music (Date, Time, Place): http://www.pollstar.com/
music (Reviews and Criticism): http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/
music (Reviews and Criticism): http://www.allmusic.com/
music (Tablature/Lyrics/Reference): http://www.harmony-central.com/
music (Live): The Dame http://dameky.com/
blog: The Best Page in the Universe http://maddox.xmission.com/
blog: oh, for god's sake! chortling at the apocalypse http://jimwelp.blogspot.com
blog: the medicine show: news and commentary from the world of advertising, television, music and pop culture
http://medicineshow.blogspot.com/
the official ninja webpage: are you ready to get pumped? http://realultimatepower.net/
"graphic novel": polio: a virus' struggle http://www.bioteach.ubc.ca/quarterly/?p=45
webtoon: pink panda http://pinkpanda.com/
criticism (pop culture): http://www.metacritic.com/
retro junk: hey i remember that! http://www.retrojunk.com/
stumbleupon: explore the social Web http://www.stumbleupon.com/

Top 5 X 1: Things I Want To Keep in 2006
In no particular order, with certain allowances to be made for enjoying oneself and staying sane:

1 my eye on my goals
2 my head in my obligatory 9-5 shuck-jive (while not succumbing to its nonsense)
3 my heart where it belongs
4 one hand on the wheel at all times
5 my whole ass in the drivers seat

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